Last Goodbyes
by Hota
Summary: Set after book 5, so don't read if you haven't finished. Letters sent to different people. Now complete
1. Harry Potter

**AN**: Wrote this this morning around 7 and finished at 8:20... I started crying when I wrote the end of it, but I think that's just because I just finished the book the other day so I'm still depressed over it. And I'll just mention that the owl is one I used in another HP fic that I recently took down and haven't had time to re-upload yet... ^-^ And also, there will be one more of these at least, maybe more depending on reviews/requests... Anyway, please R&R   
**Warnings**: Angst   
**Disclaimer**: Like I've said before, Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, not me   
**Posted: June 25, 2003 **

* * *

**Last Goodbyes **

"Come on, you can do better than that!" taunted Sirius Black, his voice echoing around the room. His eyes widened in shock as a streak of light struck his chest and he began to fall. Time seemed to slow down as he fell backward, his eyes moving around the room to look at his friends, fellow members of the Order of the Phoenix – Nymphadora Tonks, Alastor Moody, Remus Lupin - before coming to rest briefly on his godson, Harry Potter. 

Glimpses of his life flashed before his eyes; his years at Hogwarts, his many adventures with the Marauders, James and Lily's wedding, his years in Azkaban, meeting his godson, up to the present. He knew what was happening, but he didn't want to leave; he was afraid to. He tried to catch himself on something, anything, but it was too late, as everyone before him disappeared behind a veil as he faintly heard Harry calling his name. 

"SIRIUS! SIRIUS!!" cried Harry, fighting against Remus Lupin, who had caught him at the bottom of the stairs leading to the dais. 

"He can't come back, Harry," he heard Remus say, his voice breaking. "He can't come back because he's d-" 

But Harry was having none of it. "HE – IS – NOT – DEAD! SIRIUS!!" he cried again. And then he was being pulled away, away from the dais, away from the veil, and away from his godfather. 

  
  


Harry sat up in bed, shivering from a permeating cold even though he was tangled in his blankets. He took deep breaths, trying to calm himself as he moved to lean against the headboard. Pulling his legs up, he wrapped his arms around them and rested his chin on his knees as he gazed out the window. 

It had been a mere week since he had returned to the Dursley's for the summer, and he had had the same dream, or one close to it, every night, his subconscious reliving that fateful moment when Siri- 

He glanced away from the window, breaking that train of thought; he still couldn't admit it to himself. He glanced around the room, his eyes coming to rest on his trunk. Inside, he knew, lay the broken pieces of the mirror Sirius had given him so many months before; the mirror that he could have used to prevent any of the events that occurred in the Department of Mysteries from happening. 

If only he had remembered the mirror sooner, if only he had learned and used Occlumency, if only he had listened to Hermione, if only he had thought rationally, if only... So many 'if only's'... Maybe if he had done just one of them, he could have saved Sirius... He clenched a fist at that thought. 

He was pulled out of his reverie at a light tapping on his window and glanced over to find a silvery owl with amethyst eyes staring in at him, perched upon his window sill and waiting patiently with a letter tied to her foot. Reaching over, he unlatched the window and let it swing in enough for the owl to fly through and land delicately upon his knee, holding up the leg the letter was tied to. He obligingly untied it before gently stroking the bird's breast. 

"Wonder where you came from?" he said quietly. 

The owl trilled softly at him, nibbled his hand lightly, and took off out the window, blending in with the early morning light. 

Harry watched until she disappeared from sight before glancing down at the envelope in his hand. With a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach, he opened it, unfolded the letter within, and began reading. 

  
  


_Dear Harry, _

If you're reading this, it most likely means that I am gone. Kind of a shame really, since no more women will be able to swoon over my good looks. 

Sorry, that was probably uncalled for at the moment wasn't it...? 

I'm not really sure why I'm writing this... probably because, knowing me, I got killed doing something brash – just like how James always said I would go; which means I didn't have time to ever talk to you about some things, or say goodbye... 

I'm writing this over the Christmas break, since for the first time in I don't know how long, I feel like doing something productive. I've been held indoors for so long, first in Azkaban, and now here... It's eating at me; I feel I should be out doing something. I would rather go back to my time in hiding after my escape than stay here a moment longer... That, I suppose, was one of the reasons for my early demise, wasn't it...? 

I hope you're not blaming yourself for it. Even if we were coming to your rescue, you couldn't have foreseen it, and surely couldn't have prevented it, no matter how powerful you are... 

I'm sure by now Dumbledore's finally let you see your prophecy... It's overwhelming isn't it? And somehow it seems unfair. Just because of your date of birth and a requirement concerning your parents, you were handed over this huge responsibility to carry the fate of the World... Even put in simpler terms – kill or be killed – it seems inequitable. 

But at the same time, don't you feel excited when you think about it? 

No, probably not... You're not like your father in that area, are you...? I keep seeing him in the things that you do, but I have to keep reminding myself that he's gone, that you're not a reincarnation of James. 

I'm sorry for putting that burden on you, even if you didn't see it as one. I kept telling you how much you resembled James, but I never really looked at you for who YOU were: Harry Potter. Not James or Lily, even though you have their blood, but Harry... I guess since I was, in a sense, responsible for their deaths, I kept trying to make sure they lived on somehow... 

But no matter what people tell you, no matter what hopes they put on you, or expectations they hold in you... follow the path of your heart. Because no matter what happens, it will always guide you true. I'm being philosophical maybe, but I stand firm in that belief. You've got what it takes; you've only got to believe in yourself. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is... I love you, Harry. I'm proud of you, and I know your parents are too, wherever they are watching you from... I have faith that you will survive your Destiny, maybe with a few scars, but alive in the end all the same. And you never know... We may very well see each other again someday... 

Take care,   
Sirius Black 

  
  


Harry stared down at the letter, his hand trembling slightly. It was a few moments before he realised there were tears in his eyes, and that not all the splotch marks on the paper were long ago dried, that some of them were fresh. 

He choked back a sob as he set the letter on his nightstand before wrapping his arms around his legs and burying his face in them. And for the first time since Sirius' death, he wept. 


	2. Remus Lupin

**AN**: *blink blink* Wow... I've never gotten so many reviews before... not to mention in less than 24 hours... Hehe wow... *sheds tears of joy and thanks* Heh, it got so bad that when I was writing the second part, I kept getting annoyed becuase I have an alert that shows when I have a review, so I was having to click 'OK' like every 5 min... but oh well!   
I've answered reviews at the bottom ^-^ And this part will be a surprise to some of you, I got the feeling you thought I was writing more from Harry's side of the story, but it's all from Sirius', if that makes sense.... Read and you'll see. Please R&R! I really appreciate them!   
And I was almost crying again when I wrote this so... you've been warned again heh heh ^-^;   
**Warnings**: More angst   
**Disclaimer**: Same as last chapter   
**Posted: June 26, 2003 **

* * *

**Last Goodbyes **

Remus Lupin tossed and turned in his bed, lost in the nightmare that had played over and over in his sleep for the past week. He called out in objection as he watched Sirius fall and disappear through the veil. He held Harry back, trying to restrain him even as he wanted to rush forward himself. But he knew he couldn't, because he couldn't let Sirius' death be in vain. 

He kept a grip on Harry, but consumed as he was in the sudden feeling of loss washing over him, he hadn't been ready when the boy had jerked away, heading towards Bellatrix Lestrange. "Harry – no!" he cried, but it was too late; Harry was already halfway up the steps, hot on her heels. 

  
  


Remus finally broke out of the dream and sat up, panting lightly. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and hung his head in his hands, staring into the darkness as memories of the past, of happier times, pushed their way through his mind. 

It had barely been a full week, yet he was still having trouble sleeping. He had thought that after Voldemort had come back and the Order of the Phoenix had regrouped, he had accepted that there would be casualties among them. He just had never thought it would strike so close to home. 

Sirius had always been the one he had thought would outlive them all. Even after he was sent to Azkaban, he had held faith that he would escape. And somehow he had. But then he was put in a prison almost as bad, if not worse. Sirius had always been outgoing and seemed to never be able to get enough of life. Being locked up in that house must have been Hell for him. 

He still didn't know why he hadn't objected more to Sirius going with them to the Department of Mysteries. If only he had seen that something like that would happen... He told himself he really should have known... 

A soft rustling, almost like feathers, brought him back to the present, and he glanced up to find himself staring into deep amethyst eyes. There was a flutter of silver and he looked down to the owl now perched beside him. 

"Ari?" he asked quietly, calling the bird by her name. She trilled softly, looking at him with a solemn stare as she raised a leg with a letter attached to it. He removed it gently, stroking her soft feathers as he looked at her curiously. In answer, she cooed quietly at him again before taking off through the window. 

Remus looked down at the letter clutched in his hand, smoothing the wind-blown edges before flipping it over to open it. He pulled the letter out, opening it slowly, and felt his breath catch at the handwriting of Sirius that stood out at him. 

  
  
_Dear Moony, _

...I don't really know what to say... Sad, isn't it? Being friends for so long, you'd think I'd know how to put what I want to say into words... but the truth is I don't really know what I want to say... 

Well, I'll just start... I'm sure you're wondering how this got to you. Seeming as how it has, I've been gone for a while... I wrote letters to those I felt I owed a last goodbye to, and put them in safekeeping with someone; they were instructed to send them out within a week after I disappeared. I can only hope they reach everyone... 

You know, after joining the Order, I had mentally prepared myself for death, as well as the possibility of any of the others dying. Because that is, after all, what happens in war, isn't it? But I can only imagine if I truly felt ready when it happened... I know that if someone else had died, whether it be Tonks or Mad-Eye, I wouldn't have been as prepared as I like to think I am... 

And Remy, I know that you're blaming yourself to some degree. So stop it, okay!? I'm sure we both understood the dangers of what we were heading into, and you most likely couldn't have stopped me even if you had wanted to. Even as close of friends as we were, only James would have been the one who could have gotten me to listen to reason... But what reason is there in war? What reason is there when your godson is the one who's in danger, night and day, from the most evil of wizards...? 

So if I have contributed, even in the smallest amount, in helping Harry, than I have gone content in the knowledge that I have bettered my life, no matter how small it seems now. So don't mourn me too much, Moony, but if you feel you have to, don't hold it back. Don't use the excuse of 'it's a part of war and to be expected.' That's just a lie others use to get them through, and I think, in the end, it makes them weaker than if they had grieved in the beginning. 

I know how much it hurts... the pain in your chest; a gaping hole that you think will never be filled... A sense of loss so strong you feel you can barely breathe... It's how I felt after James and Lily died... And truth be told, time doesn't heal all wounds. Perhaps if I had not been sent to Azkaban so soon after, I would have felt differently, but I guess I'll never know... 

I'm sorry, Moony, for leaving you as the last living Marauder... Even though Wormtail is still alive, in my opinion he died to us the day he sold his soul to Voldemort... I still can't believe he could have done that... After all we had been through together, how close we had become... it just didn't seem right. 

Sometimes... I wonder if all of this could have been prevented if I had just been the damn secret keeper; if I could have maybe kept James and Lily from being killed, even if it was at the cost of my own life... But I guess it wasn't meant to be... and I'll have to just accept it, since there's nothing I can do about it. 

And there's nothing you can do about me, Moony, so just accept it. I know you're depressed that you won't have me around to help attract women anymore, but I think you're big enough to handle that on your own now, don't you think? 

Sorry... but you know how I can't stay serious about things for long... 

Look after him, won't you? I know that James would have wanted you to take my place should anything happen to me... I'm sure you'll keep him safer than I did; you always were the more cautious one of the group... 

Take care, Remus... 

And keep hope, Moony, you never know when we'll meet again. 

Your true friend,   
Padfoot 

  
  


Remus took a deep breath, swallowing back his tears. He found he wasn't quite successful though, as a tear landed on his hand. And that was all it took before he was silently crying, letting go of the feelings that had surrounded him since he watched Sirius disappear; the sense of loss that constricted his chest, the grief he felt at losing yet another friend, and the anger he held at the injustice of the world. 

* * *

Ok, here are my responses to reviews. Since I got so many in such a short period of time, I'm only answering specific questions if you had one. Otherwise I just want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING!!! And to all who thanked me for writing this YOU ARE VERY WELCOME! 

I didn't answer all the reviews because I think the responses would have been longer than the story... 0_o which is sad, but oh well. 

I will be doing **AT LEAST** one more. If you have someone you would like to see one done on, please feel free to request and I will do it, as long as it is within reason. For instance, I doubt I would do one on the Weasley kids or Hermione... but maybe Molly and Arthur, I dunno. Just depends, no harm in asking ^-^ 

Ok here we go: 

**ShelaghC**: Just wondering what criticism you had. Please feel free to email it to me, ne? Or even tell me on AIM?? 

**Mya Dawning**: You can get in touch with me on AIM to chat about the book if you like ^-^ My AIM sn is on my profile 

***Starlight***: Yes there will be more ^-^ And yes, I have more fics, I have a poem dedicated to Sirius called **To Sirius Black** Kind of a memorial... On my profile I have a list of Incompleted and Completed works with a short description as well 

**Tana**: Heh, sorry pal, but you kno~w all these are goin' to be like this 

**KirjavaLyra**: I'm assuming that Sirius knew Dumbledore would tell Harry about the prophecy soon, especially after all that had happened. 

**dreamkin**: Well, I hope I answered your question in this part, but if not, here - It's not that Sirius foresaw that he was going to die, it's that he knew there was a possibility of it, and therefore (in my opinion) he wanted to make sure that he tied all loose ends 

**Ayne**: You didn't have a question, but I just wanted to say - Making Harry more dramatic/emotional was the whole point of it. I hated how Harry never once shed a tear. It wasn't realistic; if you lost someone you care about, after the shock wears off, you will cry sooner or later. 

**blaise zabini**: Even though they were rescuing Harry, it wasn't Harry's fault that Sirius got killed. 

And to **Rogue Reviewer**: I just want to say, please don't criticize others on things you don't do yourself. I did spell check, and I used correct grammar, which is more than I can say for you. 

Ok, that's all, sorry if I missed you if you had a question ^-^; Please feel free to email it to me, or rather I'd prefer if you just asked me on AIM, since it takes less time ^-^ 

Anyway, thanks again to all of you for reviewing! 140 reviews in 12 hrs... *faints* *gets water thrown on her by muses and sits up* Next up is Dumblydore ^-^ (Yes, I meant to spell it like that - inside joke ^_~) *faints again* 


	3. Professor Dumbledore

**AN**: Ok new chappy! Review answers are at the bottom! ^-^ and I have some things to share for those who bother to read these things:   
This is talking about J.K. Rowling: One boy in Sydney asked if there would be any books about Harry as an adult. She teasingly replied: "You have to wait and see if he survives to be a grown-up. I don't want to give anything away at the moment."   
...all I have to say is that if she kills anyone else, Ima be pissed... Heh and on a lighter note, here's something from my friend:   
Ghetto Dumbly - By Tanaka: Yea-- all dem students was coo'   
Credit also goes to Tanaka for her help with the letter. Thanks biznitch. Now on with the fic ^-^;   
**Posted: June 27, 2003 **

* * *

**Last Goodbyes **

Professor Dumbledore sat in his office, gazing out the window at the twinkling of the stars and the dark sky that was slowly lightening as dawn approached. There were many things he could and should have been doing, but at the moment he couldn't seem to pull his mind from the recent past. 

If only he had kept Sirius at the headquarters like he had planned... Or even if he had turned a few seconds earlier, he could have cast a spell and pulled Sirius back... But instead, he had turned too late, and had watched – feeling strangely detached – as Sirius fell through the veil and disappeared... 

Maybe he _was_ getting too old... After all, it was he who had decided not to tell Harry his prophecy when he was more than ready for it, he who had insisted on keeping Harry in the dark on things he rightfully should have known, and he who had kept Sirius in that house, even when he knew how much the man hated feeling caged... But he had done it for their protection; at least that's what he kept telling himself. He wasn't being very convincing about it though, because deep down he knew it had all been his fault; that he could have prevented it all from happening. 

A quick glance at the portraits adorning the walls and ceiling showed the Headmasters of Old all sound asleep. He swept his eyes around the room, lingering briefly on the shattered pieces of the silver instruments and the parts of the table they had been resting upon; he hadn't had the resolve, or the energy, to pick them up and fix them. 

His attention was caught by a gentle tapping on his window and he glanced over to find a silver owl perched precariously on the narrow ledge. Picking up his wand, he gave a small wave and a quietly muttered spell at the latch. 

The owl pushed the newly unlocked windowpane back and flew inside, landing quietly on the edge of the large desk. She held up her leg and waited as Dumbledore untied it. Once free, she bobbed her head politely and took off, quickly disappearing over the Forbidden Forest. 

Looking down at the letter in front of him, he sighed quietly and opened it, having a feeling he knew who it was from. Sure enough, he was hardly surprised when he opened it and saw Sirius' scrawling handwriting. 

  
  


_Dear Professor Dumbledore, _

You know, as much as I don't like you right now, I keep telling myself to trust you, because you've always had a reason for your actions in the past. So even though I can't see your purpose or understand where you're coming from... I don't doubt you. You've never put me, or anyone else for that matter, in danger, or compromised them in any way... So quit blaming yourself, because if you're like anyone else, I know you are. I know you like to think you're all-powerful since you've been the only one who can put Voldemort in his place, but even you have your weaknesses. 

I'm sure you have numerous scenarios running through your head... Like what to do about the Order, how to help Harry through this, or maybe even how to explain to the Ministry that I'm finally dead... – 'Course, they're probably the ones that killed me and they already know... or maybe they hired a hit-wizard, or maybe... I should stop... – Perhaps you're even thinking of how many things you could have done differently to save me... But seeing as how I'm dead, I'm guessing there wasn't much that could have been done to change that... 

I hope you'll continue to look after him, even if you feel you've done nothing but fail him... He needs to know he can count on you; he looks up to you and respects you... I think you were the first person Harry could look to as a father figure, someone he could rely on to keep him safe... Don't let him down... 

Keep strong, and hold faith. 

Proud member of the Marauders   
Padfoot 

P.S.   
Oh... and it WAS the Marauders who broke into the Transfiguration office in 7th year... and who set the Christmas decorations on fire... and who melted the Slytherin ice statues... and who - well... anything you don't have a culprit for - it was probably us... 

  
  


Dumbledore set the letter down, blinking rapidly to hold back sudden tears. He reread the post script and laughed quietly; he had always suspected the Marauders were responsible for the fire that Christmas, but he hadn't been so sure about the break in. He should have known. He wondered how many of the other things had been their doing... 

He sat back in his chair, glancing back out the window with a slight smile at the peace that had come with the letter. Sirius didn't hold him in contempt for what he had done, or blame him for any of the many things he had more than a right to. He stretched and put the letter back in the envelope before placing it in a drawer for safekeeping. Standing up then, he decided to begin work on the many things he had to do. 

* * *

Yay reviews! Love them! Keep them coming!! ^-^ I love you all, and yeah I read each and every one of them! 

**Kurbani**: Thanks and no, sorry, I'll let you know if I find some ^-^ Circles of Time is pretty good, but it's lo~~ng, and I don't think it's quite what you're looking for. Get in touch with me by email or AIM if you'd like the link 

**Padfoot's Apprentice**: You asked what would be in one to James... well, I was thinking maybe the last one I did could be to him maybe, just depends, but I'll consider it ^-^ 

**Phoenix Tears Type 6**: Wow... heh haven't thought of it like that before, and I may do one to Peter if I get an idea, ne? 

**sirius_fan**: Hehe about him saying 'we may meet again' well, mainly it's just him hoping they'll find a way to bring him back, and part is an idea I've got running around in my head that I don't know if I'll actually do or not ^-^ 

**sora-doragon**: Hehe I never knew that, thanks, it was very interesting 

**Bittersweet Angel Chika**: *blinks* Um, I've only read it once... my friend's read it twice though I think... Damn six..? *faints* 

**Becki**: You could still do them, everyone has a different POV on what people would say or how they would react ^-^ 

**azntgr01**: Umm sure, but if you use or mention parts of my actual letters in the story, could you please make a note somewhere to give me credit? Thanks ^-^ 

I've had some people say that these aren't long enough... Well, frankly they're not supposed to be long ^-^; I just wanted them to be snippets showing how I felt certain characters should have reacted, so they probably won't get much longer than this, sorry 

Hmm, not sure who's next, so it'll be a surprise for everyone! =^-^= 


	4. Severus Snape

**AN**: Umm, don't really like this chapter, but I guess I'll wait to see if I get any flames first before I try to fix it... ^-^; Ok, I got the most people asking for Snape, and I had already had him running through my mind after I finished Dumbledore so, here he is. Enjoy...   
Ghetto Dumbly - by Tanaka: Peeves-- put dat shit down afore I hafta go curse on yo pale white ass   
**Posted: June 28, 2003 **

* * *

** Last Goodbyes **

Severus Snape sat back in his chair, thoroughly exhausted. Ever since school let out for the summer, the Order had been extremely busy working on plans, outlining defenses, and overall struggling to keep their progress from being known to those who would use it against them. He wasn't sure how much more they could take before the stress got to them and someone made a mistake. He knew he for one wouldn't complain if they were given even just a day off, even with war a constant threat on the horizon; being stretched to the limits was just as fatal as being unprepared. 

Snape leaned back, staring at the ceiling for a moment before bringing his hands up to massage his temples; he had gotten so little sleep in the past week he now had a headache almost constantly. He knew the others were handing him extra work to show that they blamed him for Sirius' death, but he had just about had enough of it; one could only take so much responsibility for their actions before it became absurd. Yes he had quit teaching Occlumency to Potter, but he had had his reasons, and he firmly believed that had Potter _tried_ to clear his thoughts like he had been instructed to, he would have nearly mastered the skill by that time. 

It wasn't that he didn't blame himself; in fact looking back on his actions he could grudgingly admit that he had acted in the moment and had had no right to cancel the Occlumency lessons. But he wasn't about to admit that to anyone else, because that would be showing that he may have cared about the situation. Oh he wasn't exactly upset at Sirius' death – he was at most indifferent towards it – it was just that he hadn't felt elated about it the way he had always imagined killing the man himself would make him feel. 

He started slightly as a silver owl flew in the window, dropped a letter into his lap, and quickly disappeared back into the shadows of the night. Glancing down, he picked up the envelope and hesitantly opened it. 

  
  


_Severus, _

I suppose you're wondering why you're getting this... Well, the answer is I've been guilt tripping, and you're as far as I got, considering you'd have to kill me to apologise to Lucius Malfoy or anyone else... but I guess I AM dead, now that you're reading this... 

You know, I have to wonder if you had a hand in my demise... I can't really blame you for wanting to kill me either, after everything that happened. But I think it would be a sort of comforting twist of Fate to have been killed with the help of a self-proclaimed enemy. 

Have I disturbed you yet? Good, that was my intention. Now, onto what I'm writing this for... 

...I'm sure you still remember everything the Marauders ever did to you... I don't exactly want to say I'm sorry, because honestly I enjoyed every minute of it... But I would rather not have grudges held against me if I can help it. 

So, on behalf of the Marauders, I, Sirius Black, apologise to you, Severus Snape, for all the injustices we committed against you during our years at Hogwarts' School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 

And now that I've completed the purpose of this letter, I must go wash my hands and keep myself from burning this. 

Black 

P.S.   
Harry's just told me he saw one of your memories in the Pensieve... I don't know why I'm asking this, but Harry isn't James... so you have no right to take your anger out on him. No matter how much they resemble each other, their personalities are about as opposite as the two sides of a magnet... Seeing his father as he was all those years ago ruined the image he had of him, and I think, in the end, that's probably for the best; he needs to know that his father was a normal teenager, with all the flaws of one... 

So, whether you take this to heart or not, I'm asking that you treat Harry as you would a normal student; God knows he has enough to deal with without teachers adding to it... 

  
  


Snape tossed the letter onto his desk, looking at it with a wary expression as if he fully expected it to transform into a poisonous snake and bite him, happily injecting his blood with its venom. Not fully trusting this wasn't just some twisted nightmare, he got up and headed to bed, wondering if this latest event would cause him yet another sleepless night. 

* * *

Wai, reviews! I love them, so keep them coming! Thanks everyone, I still can't believe so many people like this ^-^ 

**sora-doragon**: No idea, however many you guys think he should have ^-^ 

**Mikomi**: I really didn't want to know that... that sucks.... *sighs* She better not kill Moony that's all I have to say... which probably means she will... oh well... 

**Jaina Solo**: Hmm, McGonagall? Hadn't thought of her... Po~ssibly, but I doubt it... ^-^; 

**Becca**: Heh, honestly, I WAS planning to end it at Dumbledore, but then my friend was like 'Hey... you should do one 'bout Snape' and I was like '...yeah, but what would he write?' and then she gave me part of a beginning of a letter and I loved it... so now I don't know how many there will be, not that many more I know ^-^ 

**Green Banana**: Hehe, it's ok, I just wasn't expecting that many reviews... I've gotten like 50x more on this than all my other fics combined ^-^ I love reviews, they're what give me ideas and make me want to writer faster 

**Ecilla**: Heh, wish I knew the answers to those questions. Guess we'll just have to wait until the 6th book; I'm hoping the hints that Harry will at least be able to see Siri again come true ^-^ 

**Tonks aka an angels reflection**: Heh, sure ^-^ Could you list my email address on there though?? Wai, I'm glad so many people are liking this... =^-^= 

Ok that's all. Umm, not sure who's next again... Maybe Molly? =^-^= 


	5. Molly Weasely

**AN**: Yay, Molly. One of the characters that isn't given enough page time ^_~ Anyway, thanks to Tana for getting me started on this one, otherwise I doubt I would've gotten it out so soon ^-^   
Ghetto Dumbly - By Tanaka: Now, Harry-- you must stay hea' inside da skizzo-- it ain't safe for you to be walkin' round dem skizzo grounds at night wit Sirius Black on yo tail. (One of my faves hehe)   
**Posted: June 29, 2003 **

* * *

**Last Goodbyes **

Molly Weasley awoke early in the morning, a habitual habit that could never be broken of a woman who had been getting up at the crack of dawn for well over thirty years. Making her way downstairs, she took out the ingredients for breakfast and cast a charm over them, watching to make sure everything proceeded properly. She was thankful for the amount of work she had to do, simple household chores that she could lose herself in, because then she wasn't able to dwell on things; and if she had to listen to one more of her boys tell her that she had cried enough for all of them, she swore she was going to smack them. 

It wasn't her fault if she broke down every time she thought about Sirius... Honestly she had thought of him as a kind of younger brother... They sure fought enough and disagreed on enough things for it to seem like that's what they were. While she had taken that for granted, she now regretted never telling him how she felt. She was sure he probably knew of her feelings, but she was sorry she had never said them aloud and removed any doubt. She had been planning on telling him, but every time she had tried, he had seemed to do something that started another fight between them. And while she had always taken for granted that they had had an unspoken apology between them afterwards, all she wanted now was a chance to be able to say she was sorry for the things she had said to him. 

With a sigh, she brought herself out of her reverie and started piling pancakes and eggs onto plates, casting a warming charm over them to keep them hot. She had just started cooking the bacon when there was a tapping on the window beside her, startling her enough that a few strips of the bacon almost fell to the floor before she quickly caught them with a spell. Glancing over to the window after placing them in the pan, she flipped the latch to let in the silver owl that was waiting there. 

When the owl made no move to enter, she gave a quick glance to make sure nothing was in danger of burning before moving to untie the letter that was attached to her leg. The owl quietly trilled at her before taking off and disappearing. Turning back to her cooking, she absentmindedly opened the letter, her eyes widening when she caught the heading. 

  
  


_Sister Dearest, _

My, I've always wanted to say that. I hope you don't mind, Molly, especially considering the fact that you are practically my sister – or close enough to one anyway, being cousins and all. Trust me, no one has chastised me as much as you do, and I think it is a very sister-like chastisement... You're probably rejoicing to finally be rid of my moping and annoying presence, aren't you? Well actually, knowing you, you're probably bawling your eyes out, but I'm sure sooner or later you'll welcome the silence... Just don't get too accustomed; I'd hate to come back and find you'd forgotten about me... 

You know, I don't think I ever really let you know how much I appreciated you; after all that you've done for me, and especially Harry, you'd think I'd at least tell you "Thank you." But I guess I took your efforts for granted and never really stopped to tell you. I'm sure there were plenty of times I was going to tell you, but then you had to go and pick a fight... 

How much DID we fight? You know, I used to keep track of what started them, but then it became pointless because it seemed like anything could set us off... I bet we made quite a scene to the others, always yelling our heads off at each other or treating each other in what could barely be called a civil manner... But we always got over our grudges quickly, didn't we? Even if we never really apologised, it was always understood when we were on good terms again... 

I'm glad you have such a motherly nature – though with as many kids as you have I guess it's to be expected... But I'm glad of your nature because I can tell how much Harry is drawn to it, and I know he sees you as someone he can imagine his mother in. You have no idea how much I am grateful to you for that, for being able to be there for Harry when I could not. 

I know you'll keep him out of trouble as much as possible, but he's not a normal kid, Molly, please understand that. No matter how much you want him to be like everyone else, he still has his Fate to deal with... So don't get too upset with him if he does something brash, because we all know he has an innate talent for coming out on top in anything he sets his mind to... 

Take care, Molly Weasely. And thank you for everything. 

Sirius 

  
  


Molly stared down at the letter, eyes swimming with unshed tears. The sizzling of bacon brought her out of her trance and she gave a startled "Oh!" before she quickly set the letter aside and continued with breakfast. There would always be time for tears later, but right now she had a family to feed and look after. 

* * *

Yay, another chapter. Thank you again to all you reviewers!! You seriously are the reason I try to add a chapter every day ^-^ 

**Divia-Black**: Hehe yup, I am relishing in the reviews =^-^= 

**Elfmoon87**: HA! Your review made me laugh - no offense I just found that image amusing 

**Ecilla**: **Last Goodbyes** is only going to be compromised of letters, hint the name ^-^ After that, a friend and I are working on a sequel that will actually have a plot, but it may take a while, because if it's not done right, it won't be believable and will really suck =^-^= 

**Ascafeniel**: Heh, yeah, I'm trying to upload a chapter everyday, which is more than I can say for my other multi-chap fics... -_- 

**Captain 'Phoenix' Aquamarine**: Actually, I like Snape ^-^, I felt sorry for him after the memory, but I had always liked his character, just not as much as Sirius 

**Becca**: *tears* Wow, I really appreciate your reviews, just thought I'd let you know =3 

Ok, next is Peter... I hope it doesn't turn out badly, and then after him is the last chapter ^-^ Sorry, but there aren't really anymore that I can see him writing to. But, for all those that someone requested, I have done them, and I'll explain in the last chapter what I'll be doing with those. Thanks again, everyone! 


	6. Peter Pettigrew

**AN**: Wai, I wrote this this afternoon in like 2 hrs... ^-^; Anyway, I kinda like this one, and thanks goes to Tana - again, even though she's not gonna BE HERE for two weeks... *coughs* - thanks to her for helping with part of the letter ^-^ Enjoy and please R&R!   
Ghetto Dumbly - by Tanaka: There will be no sellin' of illegal substances in dis hea schoo' of whitchshit and wizardry... except to me and Fawkes, yo. *snickers* whitchshit... *coughs again* Yeah, on with the fic...   
**Posted: June 30, 2003**

* * *

**Last Goodbyes **

Peter Pettigrew nervously made his way through the dark, wondering why exactly he had come here. He was fairly sure it was some kind of ancient magik, since any other kind of spell would have been rendered useless while he was this near to his Master; that thought only made him even more nervous. He wanted desperately to turn around, but something kept pulling him, dragging him onwards against his will. 

What if it was someone who wanted to kill him? Who else could it be? He wondered if it could possibly be Remus or Sirius, finally here to enact vengeance for James and Lily. But no, Sirius was dead now wasn't he? He had heard from some of the Death Eaters how Bellatrix had managed to use one of the Unforgivable Curses on him, and how he had then fallen through a veil and disappeared. He felt relieved that he wouldn't have to face Sirius, since he had always been the more hotheaded one of the group, but that relief quickly turned into a kind of guilt and resigned acceptance that it had been his own doing that had turned his once-friends against him. 

He hadn't really meant to have gotten so involved with everything; one thing had seemed to lead to another and before he knew it, he was serving the Dark Lord. But excuses, he knew, were just that: excuses. He knew even apologising or trying to explain himself would never set things right. So he was stuck where he was, his Fate already decided and written down, just waiting to be executed... He had long ago stopped dwelling on it, merely accepting it as something that could never be changed and decided to make the most out of it, no matter how trivial or pointless that seemed. 

He glanced around himself nervously, heartbeat quickening as the surrounding trees seemed to converge and then disperse suddenly, leaving him where he stopped on the edge of a small clearing. Looking to the other side, he could have sworn he saw a slim, hooded figure in the shadows, but before he could tell for certain, an owl hooted from above and to the side of him and he spun around, his wand in his hand. 

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," said a quiet, unmistakably feminine voice from among the trees. 

He spun back around to where he had thought he had seen the hooded figure, but no one was there. "Wh-who are you?" he demanded, voice breaking slightly in his fright; he knew just how vulnerable he was. 

"A messenger," was the reply, from a different part of the clearing than the voice had last come from. Before he could pinpoint where, the owl above him swooped down, dropping a letter on the ground in front of him before disappearing into the trees. "A letter from an old friend," continued the voice, before both the owl and the woman's presence disappeared. 

He glanced around at the trees before stooping down and picking it up with a shaking hand, quickly opening it. 

  
  


_Peter, _

You haven't forgotten me have you? No, I didn't think so. How could you forget the person you set up so many years ago? Blaming the death of two supposed friends on another... How could you? You're despicable, you know that? You know, I think the name Wormtail suits you just fine... at least the worm part of it... Even Snape has more honour than you. 

Since you're reading this, I'm sure by now you've heard of my death. And I hope that wherever you are, when you get this the realisation of what you have done to this world hits you. Hard. I hope you understand that you killed two of your best friends for something as meager as power. I hope you know that you ruined the lives of thousands of people for your own selfish reasons. I hope you appreciate the fact that you've destroyed things that can never come back. And I hope, god Peter I hope, that you realise that you have made the worst mistake a wizard can ever make. 

I don't claim to know why you did it. In fact, I think I would rather not know, on fear that it would be something petty like the excuses you came up with in school. I still don't believe it Peter. How someone could throw away close to seven years of memories and wipe them clean as fast as it takes to spout off an address... How you could betray the people who stood up for you. How you could deceive the people who loved you like their own brother... 

I pity you Peter. I pity what you have become, not only because of the monster you're serving, but because you're doing it willingly. You should be thankful I'm not around anymore to kill you for killing my best friend, but don't get too comfortable. Remus is still alive and well, and I'm sure he would be happy to do that for me. 

But know this: If we ever see each other again, I WILL kill you, even if it's to tear apart your soul in Hell. And I'll be more than happy to do it, don't forget that. 

Black 

  
  
Peter crumpled the letter in his hand, tearing it apart into pieces before throwing it onto the ground and burning it with a spell. He clenched his fists, spinning on his heel to head back. He almost laughed at the irony of it all, but he was breathing so hard it came out sounding hysterical. 

He kept glancing from side to side, as if expecting Sirius to jump out at him from the shadows and kill him. And he seriously wondered if he would even put up a fight; dying quickly at the hands of a long ago friend seemed better than dying slowly and painfully at the hands of the Dark Lord. He even almost welcomed having his soul torn apart and simply becoming nonexistent. 

He slipped his wand back into his robes, preparing himself for the questions he was sure to receive from his Master as to why he had left, and the pain that was sure to accompany the questionnaire. 

* * *

Reviews, revie~ws. Not many this time, just one actually, oh well! 

**Darklight: Vampire girl**: Yes the sequel will have Sirius possibly coming back, if I can pull it off. No I don't watch Buffy, but I know about wiccans. Hehe I don't think that would work in what I have planned but thanks for the idea! And no I can't spread the word that bunnies are takin' over the world because the llamas have stolen my sanity and it's the _chickens_ that are takin over the world ^-^ 

Ok, next is the last chapter ^-^ This one may take longer, but I hope not. Anyway, thanks everyone! Please Review =^-^= 


	7. James Potter

**AN**: Yay, finally finished. Sorry it took so long! I got burned out heh heh, and I got sidetracked when I got this whole timeline for the sequel popping into my head, so I hope it turns out the way I'm planning. Enjoy and please review! ^-^   
Ghetto Dumbly - by Tanaka: Midgits, I suggest you best watch yoselves round that Forest of Forbidden Shiznitz... we don' 'zactly know what Hagrid be keepin' dere.   
Hehe ok, on with the final chapter!   
**Posted: July 3, 2003 **

* * *

**Last Goodbyes **

A tall, slim woman with golden hair that reached to her waist walked slowly around the living room, pausing every now and then to glance at the open window, obviously waiting for something. With a sigh she walked back to a large desk sitting on the side of the room, her bright emerald eyes resting on a small envelope before she picked it up. It seemed like she had been doing nothing but sending letters for the past few days, but at least this was the last one. 

She turned to the window when she heard a quiet fluttering of wings, smiling in relief to see Ari perched on the sill. She laughed quietly when the owl eyed the envelope in her hand with something akin to dread. "Don't worry, that was the last one," she said, her soft voice seeming to calm the bird. 

Turning, she went to the door and pulled it open to let a slightly taller hooded figure in. "Did it go well?" she asked, shutting the door. 

The figure pulled back their hood, revealing shoulder length, gently wavy auburn hair and deep blue eyes set in a feminine face. The woman gave a slight smirk at the question. "Perfectly." 

"You didn't kill him did you, Luin?" asked the green eyed woman, amusement tingeing her voice. 

"Oh I almost did... but no, I didn't touch him, Aradae," was the reply, as Luin moved to hang up her cloak before sinking onto the couch by the fire. 

"Good... By the way, there's another letter," said Aradae, holding up the envelope in her hand. 

"Who's the lucky one this time?" 

"That's just it... it's addressed to James Potter..." she said quietly. 

Luin glanced up in surprise. "So what are we supposed to do with it?" 

"Read it?" 

"...You're not James..." 

"Well he must have wanted it read or he wouldn't have given it to us..." 

Luin shrugged. "So read it." 

Aradae bit her lip lightly before opening the letter to read it aloud. 

  
  


_Dear James, _

I know you can't read this, but I just wanted to write out my thoughts... I have this impending feeling of... dread that seems to grip me whenever I least expect it... It's akin to the hopelessness I felt when I was thrown into Azkaban, and if it means what I think it does, I will probably be joining you soon... 

I hope you're not too mad at me... I can only imagine what you thought when Voldemort broke into your house. You probably wondered what could have happened to me to make me reveal where you were, maybe causing you to fear for me... Perhaps you even blamed me, along with the rest of the wizarding world, for betraying you and Lily... I couldn't hold it against you if you did, since I WAS responsible for what happened... 

Sometimes I wonder if I had just told someone what I had been planning it all could have been avoided; if I had just done what you had asked me to instead of trying to make sure the secret keeper was kept secret, even from you... What kind of friend am I? I didn't even trust your judgment when I would have gladly followed you blindly in a fight against Voldemort. 

I thought I was keeping you from harm, but I ended up killing you instead. I can't believe I wasn't strong enough to protect you. You had put your trust in me and I let you down in the worst way possible... I was such a coward, James. I'm so sorry... I don't know if I'll get a chance to ever see you again, and I honestly don't know what I would do if I did, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't able to forgive me, I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself; I'm just as much to blame as Peter is. 

Not only did I let you and Lily down, I also let down Harry. I wasn't able to be there for him and so he was sent to live with his aunt. In the end, it was something that could protect him, but I don't know whether that life-style was for better or worse. He was mal-nutritioned and was treated as an inconvenience all of his life... but when I first saw him at Hogwarts, he seemed to thrive. And seeing him with his friends reminded me of the Marauders, always taking things into their own hands and breaking any rules that hindered their journey... 

He's grown up to be a combination of both you and Lily. He's got your looks, your skill on a broomstick, and your disregard for rules; and he's got Lily's kind heart and will to help others... And he has an unbreakable pride; even after all he's been through, he's still true to himself, something that I know takes a lot of courage... And because of that, I'm sure he'll grow up to be a respectable man, just like his father. 

I know you'd be as proud of him as I am; he's done nothing but prove himself time and time again. He can take care of himself – and even if he couldn't, he's still got his friends by his side – so you don't need to worry... 

Forever your friend and member of the Marauders 

Sirius Black – Padfoot 

  
  


Aradae set down the letter on the desk, a slight frown marring her features, before glancing up at Luin, who was staring into the fire. 

"Oh Sirius..." the auburn haired woman whispered. "We'll find a way to bring you back..." 

* * *

Review answer time! 

**elfinfaerie**: Hehe the llama thing is a French joke from my Sophomore year ^-^ 

**Bananas'n'Cheese**: Hehe nice review, yeah, I don't know if I can resist that plea either... guess we'll just see if I'm able to pull it off ne? ^-^ 

**eloisamuggle**: Um, I am half way done with one for McGonagall, someone else asked me to do her, but I seriously can't see him writing to the Dursleys... Ok well maybe I can, I don't know, I'll think about it! ^-^ 

**Tara**: Um, again I'll think bout doin' Hermione too... but honestly, I doubt it ^-^; 

**Fanfictionfanatic**: *holds out hand for cookie* ^^ 

**Lady Arwen of Rivendell**: I'm writing a sequel to this, in which Sirius will be brought back. Darklight was giving me suggestions on how to help pull it off ^-^ 

Ok, now for all you who suggested I do letters to other people besides these, I have done most of them, a few of which are McGonagall and Voldemort ^^; What I will be doing with those is having them in the sequel (a few at least), and also, once I upload the first chapter of the sequel, I will post them all in this with the label of 'Others' or 'Extras' or something like that ^-^ So, if you have someone that you REALLY want done, send and I'll consider it... Tanaka even sent one to 'Beaky' which is just so damn funny hehe 

Anyway, if you've made it this far, I'm surprised. ^_~ I hope you all enjoyed this! I'm kind of surprised I haven't gotten any flames hehe A~nyway, THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ALL YOU REVIEWERS! I LOVE YOU TONS! =^-^= 


	8. Various

**AN**: Hmm.... this is really late huh? ^^;;; Ok, well, belated Christmas gift, even though I kinda promised this to be out a while ago... *coughs* Please don't hurt me...   
Anyway, these are random 'bloopers' I guess... Only three, but I had fun with them, and thanks to Tana and kitty for some of the ideas ^^   
**Warnings**: None really   
**Disclaimer**: Harry Potter is NOT mine unfortunately...   
**Posted: December 29, 2003**

* * *

**Last Goodbyes**

Voldemort- 

I hate you and I hope you die soon. It's just a shame I didn't get to kill you. See you in hell. 

-Sirius Black 

~~~~ 

Dearest Beaky: 

I think I'm drunk now-- since I am damn sure you cannot read. But that's not the point now, is it? I felt like I should thank you (even though you'll never know because you cannot read) for being such a wonderful hippogriff. I've always wanted a hippogriff actually......... I've always wanted one... and I still don't have one seeing as how I stole you..... 

Good thing I'm dead now, or I'd be in big trouble for having a stolen hippogriff in the middle of London... 

-Padfoot 

~~~~ 

Dear Professor McGonagall, 

Since I'm dead and I can't have that thin lipped expression burned into my memory, I want to apologize on behalf of the Marauders for the following pranks: 

1: Burning down the Christmas trees   
2: Dropping slug juice on first years   
3: Letting loose stinkbugs in the Slytherin's dorms on a weekly basis.   
4: Hiding that muggle whoopee-cushion in your seat   
5: Taping different parts of spells over the ones you were using when you weren't looking – That was Remus' idea, believe it or not   
6: Tricking naïve first years into going on hunting expeditions in the Forest.   
7: Breaking into your Transfiguration office at the beginning of 7th year.   
8: Always finding a way to turn things into a bird of prey when you forgot to set a limit on what type of bird. 

You know, I think I'll stop with just these because if I apologised for everything, this would be 20 parchments long... So, anything else that you always needed some kind of proof to punish us for, yes I'm sure we did it, and I apologise.... Except for switching the Fat Lady's portrait with pictures from Playwizard – You know, I still get a good laugh thinking about the expression on your face when you saw that... 

-Proud member of the Marauders,   
Padfoot 

* * *

Ok, that wraps this up, and now I can stop worrying bout these and maybe work on that sequel... Which has been on hold and will most likely stay that way until at least after finals... 

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate, if any) !!! ^^ Happy New Years!! 


End file.
